Dying people’s top 5 regrets may change your life
A palliative nurse who spent years caring for the dying has revealed the most common regrets we have at the end of our lives. When questioned whether they would do anything differently, Bronnie noticed “common themes surfaced again and again”. She recorded the top five in her blog, called Inspiration and Chai.
“Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.”
Bronnie’s observations gathered so much attention worldwide that she wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, which has been translated into 27 languages.
5) I wish that I had let myself be happier
“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits.
“Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
4) I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down.
“Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years.
“There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
3) I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.
“As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
“Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
2) I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship.
“Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
1) I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled.
“Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
Originally published by the Mirror Online, author Sarah Ridley.
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